{"id":7725,"date":"2024-11-20T08:56:04","date_gmt":"2024-11-20T08:56:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/?p=7725"},"modified":"2024-11-20T08:56:04","modified_gmt":"2024-11-20T08:56:04","slug":"a-dice-impersonator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/?p=7725","title":{"rendered":"A. Dice, (impersonator.)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/dic.mp3\"><\/audio><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Mattress. And I wasn&#8217;t gonna go beside went on the couch. And I put, um, a towel down and I literally, I make fun of them but I took a bit of toilet paper and basically put an ass napkin in because I said I don&#8217;t want to wake up and yeah he is ass napkin Chris.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yeah. And uh, sure enough. I woke up again. Hey, look, it&#8217;s dice Clay, Andrew Dice. Clay, how you been Powell? Look at all these guys are sitting in their pants. Hey, I&#8217;ll tell you what. I&#8217;m really digging that Thanksgiving dog, right? Richard and Thanksgiving&#8217;s a favorite fucking holiday, you know, I want to be on that dumb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Turkey floor cause I fucking love Thanksgiving. I tell you what, there&#8217;s one thing, the dice man knows it&#8217;s stuffing. Oh, Do you want to ride on Tom turkey for the Thanksgiving Day Parade? Yeah, I&#8217;ll be there on the float shooting. My gravy all over the crowd extra lumps. This time honey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;ll tell you that crowd. They better save fucking room for leftovers cause they&#8217;re gonna gobble gobble gobble my go. Oh, if you were on Tom turkey, I think I&#8217;d pay that bartender. A couple extra bucks so I could get a good seat. I&#8217;ll tell you that. I tell you, I love it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The other Thanksgiving. I thought who was dressed up as slutty pilgrims. I fucked them. Both with a butternut squash, you could have seen me So, you had two whores over the house. Yeah, that&#8217;s right. Yeah, and I&#8217;ll tell you what, I&#8217;ll break next. This Thanksgiving, I&#8217;ll break my Wishbone right in their races.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thanks Robert for following that up. Oh, I didn&#8217;t even realize. She&#8217;s finishing my material. You know after Thanksgiving, right. It&#8217;s this season of giving. So what I&#8217;m gonna do right is fine, Al Roker and see if he wants the Eiffel Tower. Some broad from the cast of Hamilton, you know?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s it&#8217;s that time of season. Okay, so it&#8217;s good to hear. If we haven&#8217;t heard from you in a while, thanks for coming by, I appreciate it. I<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mattress. And I wasn&#8217;t gonna go beside went on the couch. And I put, um, a towel down and I literally, I make fun of them but I took a bit of toilet paper and basically put an ass napkin in because I said I don&#8217;t want to wake up and yeah he is ass&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/?p=7725\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">A. Dice, (impersonator.)<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7232,"url":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/?p=7232","url_meta":{"origin":7725,"position":0},"title":"Fake Dice, Mom&#8217;s day, nightmare bogus poetry","author":"curtbi8_wp","date":"May 13, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"And uh anyway, he called an internet radio show for advice. I'm writing a Mother's Day poem. He was so yeah, here this is for your listening pleasure. We got a caller. All right, we can give them a few minutes caller. You are live question or a comment? Yeah,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6758,"url":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/?p=6758","url_meta":{"origin":7725,"position":1},"title":"Protect Dice","author":"curtbi8_wp","date":"December 4, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"99 a month for his broad. I want to see a third pop out of a shit shoot. Well, come on jd smashing his meat. That is You know, some classy lady lady. I want fucking bumps the sludge. Come on already. I mean i want to see you kidneys.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6693,"url":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/?p=6693","url_meta":{"origin":7725,"position":2},"title":"Talk radio","author":"curtbi8_wp","date":"November 11, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Our Dyson impersonator called a conservative show. Because he's upset. Wants free speech. This is no more free speech. And the conservatives love free speech. They're like, yeah man, we need free speech. Except when close off the rails when dice starts using free speech for shit that they don't\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5150,"url":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/?p=5150","url_meta":{"origin":7725,"position":3},"title":"Dice man show","author":"curtbi8_wp","date":"August 31, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Little hello to talk about people. Thank you. Got herpes, aids. And These people, right? His career skyrocketed to new levels of fame. On the late 80s. You take it. His act all the way to massive Arenas across America. Oh, mother Hobbit went to the coming to get a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7970,"url":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/?p=7970","url_meta":{"origin":7725,"position":4},"title":"Jill only (reprise)","author":"curtbi8_wp","date":"March 31, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Feel like a pirate like an angry pirate? I used to go see those guys at the Nassau Coliseum. Brandon and I think a thick as a brick tour, they played the entire album thick as a brick. It always fantastic. They're not in the Rock and Roll Hall of\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7205,"url":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/?p=7205","url_meta":{"origin":7725,"position":5},"title":"Tivo Violet","author":"curtbi8_wp","date":"May 9, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Jd to tell me when the Knicks are on TV, because it takes up my whole night. And I end up staying up way too late. But I was excited about this game because it was starting at seven o'clock. JD assured. Me, it would be over no later than\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7725"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7725\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7727,"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7725\/revisions\/7727"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/curtbile.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}