Uninvited

It’s a taro sushi or dupars in studio city. Or the McDonald’s or hamburger hamlet in Sherman Oaks. And they often found myself eating alone at one of the far tables below the shadow of the pavilion away from the center table, where i used to sit now, occupied by ryan von and Jeff Taylor and Tracy goldman, and michelle Stevenson who ryan has started dating.

When Debbie Shaffer failed to invite me to Jeff. Taylor’s 18th birthday party. She was throwing at the house and stone canyon. I understood why We rarely talk the rest of our senior year and i never spoke to terry or Liz again. But the exclusion was more painfully. Clear, when a group of guys including jeff kyle, coulson Anthony matthews and Dominic thompson made plans to see a movie in westwood and i hadn’t been invited.

This was when i realized i was going to exist on a solitary plane, the rest of my senior year a loner An outsider. The person i always knew i was. The towns will participate simply walked away and muttered addios. Hasta luego maricon Whatever status i had once enjoyed completely disappeared.

And maybe if i hadn’t been so close with Tom and Susan for all those years, this was how it would have always been anyway. And i was just realizing that without their presence in close proximity to mind. I might have been as invisible, then, as i was becoming now.

Everything faded from me. Tom right, attended, the harvard school for boys during the remainder of 12th grade and i didn’t see him again for almost 20 years.

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